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Motherhood. The end of Dignity. Part I.
Lemme tell ya a little story. Last night Rocket and Georgia needed a bath. This happens often. I started the bath water. Rocket got in, too soon, like he always does. Then, as always, he complained...
View ArticleThe quandary of the poop-filled onesie.
Alright. You’ve all been there. Let’s review anyway, just to make sure we’re all on the same page (I HATE that expression). Your baby is in the car seat and decides to poop one of those soft huge ones....
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I have the kid I used to judge other people for having
It took a while to figure out, but I’ve finally determined that yes, for sure I have a kid I used to judge other people for having. I used to look at people with their insane toddler hell-bent on...
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Where the hell is my glow?
I’m 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant. You would think I’m in Peak Glow Zone. But I’m not. I think somebody has stolen my glow. Somebody has stolen my glow and replaced it with hemorrhoids. What? Too much...
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37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”
Sometimes I complain about motherhood. Shocking, I know. And every time I do, somebody somewhere somehow gives me the same sage advice: Enjoy it before it’s over. Live in the now. Soak it up. EMBRACE...
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Imagine all the people trying not to be dicks
So the other day I was at Costco. For our overseas readers, Costco is grocery store on steroids. Everything in is it huge, bulk, wonderful. I love Costco. It’s very American. I shop there often because...
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Tidy houses are not a thing so stop it
I have decided that anyone with kids who says their house is tidy and clean is lying. Their house is not clean. It’s a fucking disaster like mine. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m not wrong. THEY ARE...
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Sometimes, I am the asshole
One of my goals in life is to not let my decision to have children ruin anybody’s life. I talk a lot about asshole, entitled parents producing tiny asshole children, and I work really, really hard not...
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Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.
I’ve been a mother for 14 years and have 4 children and the only thing I’ve learned is that “they” are pretty much always lying. Everything “they” promise will happen does not actually happen....
View ArticleClik here to view.
Motherhood. The end of Dignity. Part I.
Lemme tell ya a little story. Last night Rocket and Georgia needed a bath. This happens often. I started the bath water. Rocket got in, too soon, like he always does. Then, as always, he complained...
View ArticleThe quandary of the poop-filled onesie.
Alright. You’ve all been there. Let’s review anyway, just to make sure we’re all on the same page (I HATE that expression). Your baby is in the car seat and decides to poop one of those soft huge ones....
View ArticleClik here to view.
I have the kid I used to judge other people for having
It took a while to figure out, but I’ve finally determined that yes, for sure I have a kid I used to judge other people for having. I used to look at people with their insane toddler hell-bent on...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Where the hell is my glow?
I’m 27 weeks and 1 day pregnant. You would think I’m in Peak Glow Zone. But I’m not. I think somebody has stolen my glow. Somebody has stolen my glow and replaced it with hemorrhoids. What? Too much...
View ArticleClik here to view.
37 reasons I’m having trouble “embracing the moment”
Sometimes I complain about motherhood. Shocking, I know. And every time I do, somebody somewhere somehow gives me the same sage advice: Enjoy it before it’s over. Live in the now. Soak it up. EMBRACE...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Imagine all the people trying not to be dicks
So the other day I was at Costco. For our overseas readers, Costco is grocery store on steroids. Everything in is it huge, bulk, wonderful. I love Costco. It’s very American. I shop there often because...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Tidy houses are not a thing so stop it
I have decided that anyone with kids who says their house is tidy and clean is lying. Their house is not clean. It’s a fucking disaster like mine. Don’t tell me I’m wrong. I’m not wrong. THEY ARE...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Sometimes, I am the asshole
One of my goals in life is to not let my decision to have children ruin anybody’s life. I talk a lot about asshole, entitled parents producing tiny asshole children, and I work really, really hard not...
View ArticleClik here to view.
Potty training is bullshit. And that frog toilet can go to hell.
I’ve been a mother for 14 years and have 4 children and the only thing I’ve learned is that “they” are pretty much always lying. Everything “they” promise will happen does not actually happen....
View ArticleClik here to view.
14 most spectacularly uncool moments of my pregnancies, summarized for women...
My friend is 38 weeks pregnant and I sense she feels a little guilty about not enjoying these final weeks of pregnancy at all. And so, for her and all the other mothers out there in their last few...
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